Welcoming 2013

The end of 2012 is tonight.  We all like to reflect on the past year and what it brought or what it didn't bring and what we accomplished.  2012 brought wonderful things to our family, namely our son.  This time last year, I announced that M and I would be expecting in the year to come.  I also reflected on the darkness of my year prior to the conception of our son.  It's amazing how fast these years go by.

Relecting on the previous year is nostalgic.  In 2012, I was pregnant,  M got a new job, our son was born, and we got a new couch.  I think those were the biggest occurances in our family.  It was a wonderful year full of joy and laughter.  Much better than 2011 when I was in a bad place and M was too while searching for a job.

I do not make New Year's resolutions, as written previously, so I again will not list out any goals or checklists of what I intend to accomplish in the upcoming year.  I just want to live, be happy, and continue to tighten up my post-baby body.  The weight is all gone, I'm just a little flabby. 

Baby J will turn one in 2013.  How did we get to that year already?  He will be six months on January 2.  That means he is now closer to one year than he is to a newborn.  I love watching him grow and discovering new things but my heart is a little sad in knowing that certain stages of his development and growth are gone already and the tiny little baby that I could snuggle on my chest no longer fits.  I already forget how small he was and how he could fit in the crook of my arm.  I can just about just get his head in my arm while the rest of him hangs over my lap and legs.  No longer does he curl up in a ball but stretches out to his entire length and kicks and wails just as he should.  He is almost crawling and he is rolling over everywhere.  We can no longer leave him on the floor unattended because he is never in the same place anymore.  We are embarking on the next phase of baby mobility.  It's exciting and hugely frightening.

All kinds of unknowns await us in the new year.  I hope they are all good things.  M, J, and I wish you joys, smiles, and the all the happiness you can find in your new year.  Welcome 2013!

Baby's First Christmas!

Before we begin with the Christmas recap, we celebrated Jackson's dedication the week prior to Christmas. It was a wonderful morning full of worship, laughter, and prayer.  Jackson was a perfect angel through the entire service and when he was introduced to the congregation, he was full of smiles and giggles.  He was even called the town Mayor by one member of the congregation.  We were so thankful.

To Christmas!

It came and it has now gone.  I'm a little misty-eyed thinking that his first Christmas is already over.  He will only have one first Christmas and it's gone - forever.

Okay, enough wallowing.  It was an amazing first Christmas and full of so much love and good times.  Little boy did not lack in any gift-receiving either.  It's tricky because he has absolutely no idea what was going on or that he even received presents but the wide-eyed stares and unabashed grins were enough for us to know just how happy he is.

This lucky little duck had a couple Christmas parties to go to and he even met Santa - twice!  And not a tear or scream was expelled from this little trooper.

I think he told Santa that he wanted a red wagon for Christmas.

And what to his eyes would appear on Christmas Eve - a brand new and shiny red wagon!!  Okay, maybe not from Santa but Santa got the message to the right ears.

Baby J also had a stocking to open on Christmas Eve from Grammie and Papa.  He got a little toy, a baby toothbrush, some boogie wipes, and a super cool Bruins hat!  He is thrilled, can' t you tell?

Maddux was also very excited.  Heh.

Christmas Eve is celebrated at my grandmother's house and my parents, my aunt and uncle, brother and nieces, also attended.  It was a great night and Jackson got too many things.  But what are grandparents supposed to do?

Christmas morning came and Jackson decided that he would sleep in.  He slept until 7:30 which is about an hour later than normal for him.  The previous evening must have just proven to be too much.  But once up, he was ready to open some gifts!  Just kidding.  We didn't even wrap his.  We're mean parents.  But you can clearly see from the photo below that this child has plenty of toys.  And that's only the downstairs play area and toy basket.  Oh boy.

After M, J, and I opened our gifts at our home on Christmas morning, we headed over to Nana and Grampa's for our annual Christmas Breakfast Extravaganza!  Once again, the Donahue Boy Chefs did not disappoint with their mad omelette making skills.  Sadly, no photo.  I was hungry.  I did manage a photo of the bacon because let's be real folks, bacon is the bomb.

 Baby J, of course, could not partake is this feast but he enjoyed his breakfast of oatmeal and peaches.

After breakfast, we make our way into the living room and it's an all out rip and open fest on the gifts.  It's madness but so much fun.  Once again, J was spoiled.  He got so many clothes and a super awesome baby zebra activity toy!  Our littlest niece was the highlight of the day in her cupcake PJs and with her squeals of delight at her new princess castle and little toy smartphone.  

It was a day filled with joy and the best first Christmas any little guy could ever have.

Heavy Hearts

One of the greatest tragedies in American history occurred today.  A lone gunman entered an elementary school in Newtown, CT, opened fired, and killed 26 people.  20 of them were children.  Toddlers.  How can this possibly be?

The debates will rage on how there needs to be better gun control, guns should be outlawed, and guns should just disappear.  But how can this ever solve the problem?  Guns are not the only weapon.  Others are much more easily attained.  The majority of these heinous murders are commited by a gun, yes.  That doesn't make it the reason for the carnage.

The person holding the gun is.  We've all heard it before - Guns don't kill people.  And they don't.  The people with the guns kill people.  This argument will continue until the end of time but this statement remains true.  These tragedies would not ever occur if not for the sick people holding the gun.  And this brings the need for assistance of mental illness, not gun control.  Do we take away our rights as Americans because of a select few of ill individuals?  That is not what this country was built on.  We all have a right to bear arms.  The way we bear them and the way we use them is the issue.  I do not voice my political views publically often but this one today ignited me.

But today, the political debates should cease.  That is not what today should be about.

There are countless parents and families who are experiencing the worst kind of anguish that any human could ever feel.  Trying to put myself into their place is near impossible but I think of my son and what that would feel like.  I have to stop because the agony looming right there on the surface is too much.  The thought of bringing my son to school as I would any day and the idea that he might not come home is unimaginable.  But I do know, that our plans for our son to attend school will not change.  The acts of a few will not deter us from our son getting an education in a classroom. 

We cannot live in fear.  Our lives must continue.  We cannot live in a bubble and never have our children learn to live in a society that is full of wonderful opportunities and advantages.  Our children need guidance, they need socialization, and they need the freedom to experience the world.  Yes, there are dangers.  There are dangers everywhere.  We must continue to trust that God is there.  And that His hand is on our shoulders.

Please keep those families in your prayers tonight as we carry our heavy hearts.  If any comfort can be sought from this day, it is that those precious children are now forever in the loving arms of our Lord.  Hold your loved ones close tonight and tell them you love them.

Christmas List for Baby

Christmas is two and a half weeks away.  The majority of my Christmas shopping is done.  I probably need to get M something else, I still have two of my nieces to buy for (plus one has a birthday right before Christmas), and I probably need to get something extra for baby J.  My folks are done, my grandmother is done, and M's parents, brothers, our sister in law, and our youngest niece are all bought for.  I feel good about that.

As for baby J's gifts - what do you buy a five month old that doesn't really understand toys yet?  Do I bother?  I mean it IS his first Christmas - he has to get something!  Even if Mommy and Daddy have to open it for him and he thinks the wrapping paper is the most amazing thing ever.

As of now, I got him one of those ring stackers, plush blocks, and one of those circle ball but not ball things. But I am so excited for his first Christmas.  It's going to be the best one ever.

Are these good toys for babies?  Any recommendations for a five month old that has no idea what the difference is between a clean diaper and a mini exer-saucer (both equally fun to play with)?

Grammar ignorance?

Yes, there is a redesign.  I get bored.  Too colorful?  I kind of like it.  It's food related but fun and bright!  Just like baby toys.  Which is a lot of what I'm seeing lately.  At least this blog doesn't play music.  Some of those toys do not shut off until they are good and ready.  It's only just begun.  I know.

Thanksgiving was so wonderful!  Jackson of course couldn't really eat much but he sat at the table with us and he tried Grammie's homemade squash.  He gagged like crazy.  It had to have been the texture.  It wasn't pureed enough.  I added some formula to thin it out but it wasn't enough.  Oh well!  He enjoyed his Thanksgiving meal of formula.

My niece is the sweetest little thing.  She's already such a little mama to Jackson.  She just says "Baby.  Baby." and touches him with such sweetness.  She even held his hand.  One of my favorite moments of the day.

Moving on.  I've decided to use this blog, at times, for a portal for my venting and complaining.  Today is the day for one such post.

Taking classes, working full time, and having a baby at home is very difficult.  It is so hard to find the time to do what you need to to meet the needs of work, home, and school.  Especially when you have a professor that tells you don't know how to write, have bad grammar, and need to utilize the staff at the writing center at the university.  Say what?  I have grammar ignorance?

Um?  I don't know how to write?  Why don't you come and talk to me when you can send out a communication email without a typo?  K?

Can I also point out that this is a baseball course?  It is called Baseball and the American Experience.  Get over yourself, buddy.

I was livid the other day when he gave me a C on my paper.  While to some that might be fine, to me, no way.  I don't get C's.  Sorry to toot my own horn but as an adult learner, we are not getting this education to just get by.

We are here to do well.  He said this is not a grammar course and he's not grading as such.  Except that he was and I called him out on it.  Apparently other students did as well.  He said in the past, if he found five grammatical errors on the first page of a paper, he would stop reading but he will "soften."  Really?  Believe me, I understand being annoyed with incorrect grammar and spelling.  It bothers me to no end and sometimes I refuse to bring my business somewhere if there is a typo on a pamphlet.  I have also been known to find errors in restaurant menus.  So you can see my offense when he tells me I don't know how to write.  One example was he dinged me for ending a sentence with the word "too."  He said you can't end a sentence with a preposition.  Can somebody please tell me when it was made a rule that a sentence cannot end with this word?  How else is this word used?  Can we only say "I too liked it" instead of "I liked it too."  Please.  Example of his comments.

I can also spy a grammatical error or misspelling in about .45 seconds flat.

I think it's more of a writing style preference   I tend to write how I would speak.  Perhaps some of those sentences are not the correct "way" of writing but I'm not writing in slang in a school assignment.  The writing I do here and there are different.  But whatever.  He's a clown and I'm not changing anything.  I have never had an issue with my writing before this guy.  We had the option of sending a draft of our midterm assignment to him for review so I did.  He said "What an improvement!"  Dude, nothing changed.  It stands now as a 92/A-.  I'm not doing anything more on it.  My luck with this guy, the grade would go down.

I digress.

The holidays are coming!  We have lots of things scheduled!  We have office Santa parties, birthdays, breakfasts, and Jackson's dedication service!  Busy, busy.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I just wanted to write a quick post to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving and ensure that everyone has good eats!  We will be feasting on turkey (of course), mashed potatoes, proscuitto asparagus bundles, green bean casserole, stuffing, butternut squash, turnip, pumpkin pie, and apple pie!  Yum.  I can't wait.  Especially since last year I was still so nauseous and couldn't eat much save for desserts.  Yep.  Still had my sweet tooth then.

There is so much to be thankful for this year.  Last year, I was so very thankful for the addition we would be expecting in the year ahead.  This year, I am thankful for the healthy little boy that is now in my and M's arms.  Please remember to give thanks this year and remember that God is good!

Food, Food, Food

Baby is four months already!  Where did that time go?  I thought the first few weeks were never going to end but look where we are.  Now I want things to slow down!

But I am excited for this new food phase of his life.  Time to start solid foods.  I am super excited about this.  I don't even drink the bottles but I'm taste-bored for him!  A couple weeks ago it was seeming like the bottles just weren't cutting it so I reached out to my Mommy friends and they all said bring on the cereal!  The unanimous consensus was to start with oatmeal so that's where we went.  The first time he had it, he thought about it for a bit and looked cross-eyed at the spoon like what in the heck is that thing coming for my face?  Once a good amount of food finally made it into his mouth, he did pretty well!  Every feeding of oatmeal since then, he has eaten more and more and finally finished a whole bowl.  He's turning into a little piggy.  Too bad his weight isn't reflecting that just yet.

He had his four month checkup earlier this week.  Stats are:

Weight: 13lbs 4oz
Height: 25.5 inches
Head: 42 centimeters

Getting hungry, Mama!  I'm all ready in my businessman bib.

So basically, he's tall and skinny right now.  We'll see how long that lasts after starting baby food.

Because next up is FRUITS!  I am very excited.  I think I'll start with apples or peaches.  I might introduce sweet potatoes in the next few weeks too.  Just in time for Thanksgiving!  Lucky duck. 

I also have a recipe to share!  I know!  It's been a long time.  I had the fam over for dinner a couple weeks ago and made my version of chicken pot pie that is adapted from an Ina Garten recipe.  Using biscuits as the crust gives everyone their own and there is no fighting over the crust!  How bad could that be?  Not bad at all, my friends. 

Chicken Pot Pie

Adapted from Ina Garten

3 chicken breasts, bone in or boneless

3 tablespoons olive oil

Salt and pepper

5 cups chicken stock

1 tsp ground sage

1 tsp dried thyme

12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) butter

2 cups chopped yellow onions (about 2 onions)

3/4 cup flour

1/4 cup heavy cream

2 cups medium-diced carrots (about 4 carrots), blanched for 2 minutes in boiling water

1 10-ounce package frozen peas

1/2 cup minced fresh parsley

1 can refrigerated biscuits
1 egg, beaten

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Place the chicken breasts on a baking sheet.  Drizzle with olive oil and season with salt and pepper.  Place in oven and roast for about 45 minutes until cooked through.  Set aside to cool.  Once cool, cut into bite sized chunks.

In a sauce pan, add the chicken stock, ground sage, and thyme.  Heat the stock over medium low heat.

In a large, deep oven safe skillet, melt the butter.  Add the onions and saute until soft.  Add the flour and stir until a nice roux is formed.  Gently pour in the hot chicken stock.  Let the sauce thicken and then add the heavy cream, chicken, carrots, peas, parsley, and season with salt and pepper.  Stir well to combine. Place the pan in the oven and bake for about 15 minutes.

Remove the biscuits from the can and place on a baking sheet.  Place in the oven and pre-bake for about 1/3 of recommended baking time listed on the can.

Remove the chicken mixture from the oven and place the pre-baked biscuits on the top of the mixture.  Brush the tops of the biscuits with the beaten egg.  Put back into the oven and bake for another 15-20 minutes until the biscuits are baked through and golden brown on top.

Serve immediately.

How It's Going

It's been about a month since I started back to work and Baby J started day care. I can't believe that amount of time has gone by already but so far, it's going really well. He seems to be doing really well at day care and the staff are wonderful and truly seem to love him! It makes me sad that he is the first one there and the last one to be picked up at the end of the day but it does give him great one on one time with the teacher. She also feeds him his breakfast in the morning so that takes that off my hands. Which is good considering how traffic has been but that's a whole 'nother story that no one wants to hear.


I am doing well too. I am glad to be back to work. In all honesty, which I feel bad saying, it does make it a little easier. I'm not the one who constantly needs to entertain him or feed him. I know that probably sounds horrible but it's just how I'm feeling. But I love, LOVE, the feeling I get when I pick him up at the end of the day and then spend those few precious hours before bed with him. I think it's making me a better mom to have this time away. We've had some great naps with him on my shoulders and the smile I get when I pick him up is worth it. And he gets tired at the end of the day which is great.

However, I do think we are heading into the four month sleep regression. He does great for the first few hours in the night but then wakes and has trouble going back to sleep. We have also weaned him from the swaddling and he didn't much care for that at first. But he's all over his crib now at night. He's facing a different way than when I put him down, or he's on his side, or just kicking like crazy. So, the swaddling had to stop. I can usually get him back to sleep pretty quickly but we have had some nights that were more difficult and did require a bottle which I was trying to avoid. I don't want him to start relying on a middle of the night feeding again. But, when just won't settle, he is just that hungry and who can deny a baby that?
I am starting to get a little concerned about his head as it does have a significant flat spot. Luckily, we go to the doctor's in two weeks for his four month check so hopefully they can give me some tips other than propping his head to the opposite side during monitored naps, lots of tummy time, and repositioning in the crib. I did get him a new toy that he just loves. It's a seat with a toy tray. Look at him! You hit that ladybug mirror, Little Man!

So, all in all, we are all doing really well. I am certainly tired. But what new mother isn't. It's just the name of the game and I'm battling through. On a side note though I do seem to be losing a significant amount of hair. Post baby phenomenon?

First Day of School!

Baby J had his first day of school!  Really, it was day care but he had a blast!  Look at that face above.  His teacher was holding him and I just had to snap a photo before I left.  Look at the fleece vest.  Baby clothes are so cute!  There were overalls under this vest.  But when I picked him up, he was in a different outfit.  There was a minor explosion.  Way to inaugurate the day care staff to your baby tending needs, Baby J!

I did good and only called once!  I called at lunchtime and of course, he was doing just great!  He did tummy time, sang songs in circle group, and they talked about favorite colors.  This cracks me up.  As long as he had fun!  He slept for about an hour and a half total there and did full feedings.  The little guy was wiped out. He went down at 8:30 and slept straight through until 6:30.  This is typical.  What is not typical is the no waking up making noises.  Usually he does this once or twice.  I didn't hear a squeak out of him all night.  This was very good.

He is the first one there in the mornings so they did his first feeding so I could just change him and get out the door in the morning.  He gets some great one on one time which I'm happy about.  It makes me sad though he is the last one to be picked up at the end of the day. :(

So day one was a success!  I know it will just get better.

He's also representin' Mama's work.  Boo yeah.

Date Night!

M and I had our first date night since the little guy was born.  It was also our seven year wedding anniversary and it was glorious.  It was so nice to get out, have a glass of wine, and have a nice relaxing dinner that someone else cooked and cleaned up.  I wore a dress and heels even!  M's mom (Nana) came over and looked after Jackson for us.  She fed him and put him to bed even so all we had to do when we got home was get ourselves into bed.   It was wonderful.

We went to one of our favorite places - Cafe Escadrille.  We had reservations for The Gourmet Room and it is always an excellent dining experience.  We have gone to the regular restaurant portion but prefer the atmosphere in this dining room.  There is exceptional, attentive service and the food has never disappointed.  They have some old school dining ideas like preparing salads, some entrees and desserts tableside.  You can watch your food being prepared.  The waitstaff prepares these items and there is even sorbet between appetizers and entree to cleanse your palette. 

Disclaimer: Photos taken with my phone.

Here is what we got:

Rhode Island Style Calamari.  Delicious.

M got a bowl of clam chowder.  One of the best clam chowders.  Ever.

The aforementioned sorbet.  It was lemon.

My entree was a pound of Baked Alaskan King Crab Legs with drawn butter.  A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.  There was not a bite left.

M got the Veal Oscar.  This entree was prepared tableside.  Our server seered the medallions, made the sauce, and put together the entire dish with lobster tail and asparagus.  She cooked the veal to perfection.

Tableside preparation

After this meal, we were stuffed but still wanted dessert.  We got it to go.  M got the Pumpkin Cheesecake and I got the special of a trio of Mini Whoopie Pies.  There was traditional, red velvet, and pumpkin.  The pumpkin was the best.  The others were a little dry to be honest.  The cheesecake was delicious, however.  Sorry, no photo.  We ate these on the couch, in our jammies, when we got home.

And now, I go back to work tomorrow.  It was such a wonderful, amazing summer with my newborn son.

Almost Over

This is the beginning of the last week of my maternity leave.  I am sad but am also looking forward to it.  These weeks have been wonderful and also difficult.  I wrote of the hard times I experienced but they were also weeks of wonderful bonding with my son.  I am going to take this last week and grab hold of everything I can and to take him all in.  And next Tuesday, I am going to look forward to going back to work.

The first five weeks or so seemed like they were never going to be over.  I wanted to rush through them.  They were difficult for many reasons.  All of a sudden, all twelve weeks are almost over.  I look back and remember just how little he was.  He has grown and developed so much and it was amazing to spend this time with him.  There were so many fun times but honestly, some days were boring.

I do not think I could be a stay at home mom.  Once, I thought I could.  Now, I think I need the outlet.  I need my job.  It is something I am confident in and know how to do.  Those first few weeks with my son, I was not confident and had no idea what I was doing.  Some days, I still don't.  At work, I know what needs to be done.

I need a chance to miss my son.  We both need the time away.  I love spending my time with him but when you do tummy time for the umpteenth time in the day you realize that you need something else.  And you need to start enjoying these play times.  When you do them constantly, they do not seem as special.  When I come home from work, I will sit on the floor with him while on tummy time and play and coo right along with him.  It will be good for both me and him.  So I need some time away.

Many people have asked if I will be going back to work or staying home.  I tell them I will be returning to work.  Some have given me a sad look and say "Really?  That's too bad." I find it inappropriate for people to make a mother feel guilty about going back to work and providing support to her family.  We feel sad enough.  But we know that the separation is good and the socialization my son will get at daycare will only benefit him.

This is not to say that dropping him off at day care will be easy.  It won't.  But I know it's good for him.  And I know it's good for me.  They can give him this play time that I have honestly gotten a little bored with these past few weeks.  I need them to be fun for me again.  But for this week, I am going to enjoy them to the fullest.  We will go to story time, we will play on the floor, we will go for walks, and we will snuggle.  Next week, I will begin the next phase of a working mom. 

How do you do it?

I have been filling out the paperwork and enrollment forms for Jackson's childcare.  There are so many questions and information you need to provide which I think is great.  They want to know all kinds of things about your child and where they are developmentally.  I will be going to the daycare in the next couple of weeks for Jackson to meet the teachers and to go over all of the things I need to provide (like formula, diapers, clothing, crib sheets, etc).  I am getting nervous and so sad.  My maternity leave and bonding time is almost over.  Four more weeks.  Where did this time go?

I am excited to get back to work and to have more "brain" activity.  I'm not sure my personality is built to be a stay at home mom.  I need activity, I need to use my brain, and I need to get out of the house (not that you can't do these things with a child).  But the thought of being away from my little guy every day makes me want to burst into tears.  How do you do it?

That first morning when I drop him off, I know I will sob the entire drive into work.  Note to self: Bring make up so I can reapply when I get to the office.  I know he will be well cared for and it will do nothing to break the bond I have with him.  I have just spent every day of the past eight weeks with him and will do the same for the next four.  While there were many days, especially at the beginning that were excruciating, to not be with him all day will be so hard. I won't see the things he does everyday.  I won't hear his little noises and coos.  I won't be able to just watch him sleep.  I will miss him terribly.

I also know it will be good  for him.  He will begin socializing with other babies and adults.  He will have structured activity and sleep time.  This is good.  Just how do you easily leave your child with people you don't know? 

And then by the time I pick him up, he will need to eat, be played with a little, and then it will be time for bed.  Not much time.  When do M and I fit dinner in?  Will the dog get walked?  Will I be able to cook?  I'm not sure how I can do it all.  And the morning.  Do I get up earlier to get myself ready and then the baby up, fed, and clothed?  Or do I just change him and leave the feeding up to daycare?  I guess it depends on when he wakes up.  I realize M can help but with his job, it is almost impossible.  That's another story all on it's own.  When do I clean my house?  Weekends?  I don't want to.  I am going to want to spend as much time as I can with Jackson since I can't during the week.

Seriously.  How do working moms do it?

Thankful

I am feeling sentimental today.  Could be hormones.  Or could just because I am so very thankful.

I realize I wrote an entire post about my struggle and the difficulty with the first few weeks of my maternity leave.  And those feelings were all completely normal.  It was a truth about the adjustment and learning to accept the change in your entire life.  But through those feelings, you have the most beautiful face to look at.

This morning, I was watching the TV show Maternity Ward.  It is a show about the births of high risk babies, those with drug addictions, and with birth defects.  It is heartbreaking.  On this particular show, there was a little boy who was born with a malformation of his head and face.  He will need surgery by the time he is four months old.  My heart broke for that little helpless baby and the mother.  And it made me so grateful for my perfectly formed and healthy son.

I know I am biased, but I think he's pretty darn beautiful.  He has ten fingers and ten toes.  He has a wonderfully shaped head.  He has two gorgeous blue eyes.  And he's healthy. 

When you think about all those babies in this world who struggle, it makes you hold your child closer and thank God that you were given a healthy baby.  He's also a good baby.  Only cries when he's hungry, wet, overtired, or bored.  No colic, no complete sleepless nights.  He's going anywhere between 5 and 7 hours straight right now at 6 weeks old.  I will certainly take it.

He is growing so fast and eating much more now.  He's up to around 4.5 to 5 ounces per feeding.  And he's getting the cutest little baby chub on his arms and legs.  I just love to pinch it.  He's also smiling now and it melts my heart.  What is more beautiful than your baby smiling at you?  I know I said I couldn't wait until he's older and that is still true.  I am excited about what is to come but I am also sad that these days are getting shorter.  He is growing so very fast and today, I am chershing the moment of his infancy, his snuggableness, and his complete dependency on me and M.  I'm letting go of the schedule.  I am letting him be him today.  Although, he's figuring out a good schedule on his own so I am happy with that.

There are days when I think about oh, we need to get him having a mid morning nap and an afternoon nap.  What time should those be at?  And then, we need to extend his feeding times from 2.5 - 3 hours to 3.5 to 4 hours.  And then we need to figure out how many ounces.  These thoughts stress me more.  I know he will let me know and I will figure it out too.  That Baby Wise book is making me crazy.  I need to give it back to my sister in law so I don't keep cracking it open and reading about everything I'm probably doing wrong.

But am I?  He's growing, he's gaining weight, he's happy, and he's sleeping at night.  I think I'm doing okay, Baby Wise.  I don't need you telling me I'm screwing up his sleep cycle or giving into his demands too much.  He's mine.  I make the rules, book.  He's holding his head up great, he's smiling, he's cooing, he responds to noise, and he focuses and follows objects with his eyes.  He's right on track.  How could I possibly ask for more.

He's the love of my life (along with M of course).  My boys.  To see them together makes me so happy.  Jackson loves to sit with M on the couch and watch TV.  Typical boy already.  He likes to eat, sleep, fart, and watch TV.  He's clearly all boy.  I wouldn't have it any other way.