To hold my son. I have been dreaming about this for a very long time and ever since I discovered I was pregnant back in October (wow!) and when I saw the little speck of him on the ultrasound screen and heard his heartbeat at 6 weeks, I have been eagerly anticipating that moment. But before I hold him, I believe M should hold him first.
I told M that I want him to hold our son before I do. I have been privileged to carry him these past nine months (even during all the discomfort and complaints) and have felt him wiggle, kick, squirm, and punch. I have felt where his head is, I have made out the shape of a foot while it was pushing against my side, and I have felt the strength and determination of this little boy to let me know he is here. I have connected with him already in a way that M couldn't. It is only right that he truly feel our son's touch first.
There is a profound relationship between a father and a son. I want M to look into those baby's eyes and truly discover what it means to love and to be a father. I want him to feel that connection to his son that I have so immensely felt already. Just by feeling him move and be alive. And I want this baby to look back at M and know that this man would go to the ends of the earth to protect him and to know that he can trust his Daddy with every ounce of his being. I want that baby to know just how much his Daddy loves him. That first experience of a father holding their child for the very first time is unequaled to anything M has ever or will ever feel. This baby has felt me and I have felt him. It's Daddy's turn. They say a woman becomes a mother when she discovers she's pregnant and that a man becomes a father when he sees and holds his child for the first time. When M finally feels the touch of his son, it will be the most beautiful thing I will ever see.
The baby at 30 weeks is 15.7 inches long and weighs 3 pounds - about the size of a cabbage.
There is a half a pint of amniotic fluid swishing around in there now but that should decrease as the baby gets bigger and takes up more room which he certainly is. Eye sight is also continuing to develop this week.
I am getting more tired which is normal but I still do not have any swelling!
How I'm feeling: I can't breathe.
I am extremely uncomfortable.
I am officially waddling.
Some days are really hard. Especially around 4pm for the remainder of the day and night. I am so uncomfortable, so tired, and I'm getting sore. The baby moving around in there is making my insides hurt.
Pregnancy Notes: My wedding rings still fit! I am very excited that I haven't gotten swollen.
Food cravings and notes: I don't know. I honestly can't remember what went down food wise this week. M and I did go out to dinner over the weekend and nothing was noteworthy.
Doctor's Visit: 30 week check up. I am now going every 2 weeks. Everything is still great. My doctor said she anticipates he will be a small baby. I really hope she's right.
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